The Winner's Edge by Loof Lirpa

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Roly
Posts: 32
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 1:20 pm
Location: New Hampshire, USA

The Winner's Edge by Loof Lirpa

Post by Roly »

Recently while Google searching the 'net I found an interesting article by former Norwegian Olympic AP champion Loof Lirpa. I had entered key search words "air pistol, competition, psychopath" and was shocked to get over 17000 hits. So to narrow it down I threw in "sauna" and got Lirpa's very interesting article.
As most of us know, by about the end of the first hour the average match can get very irritating. You've already sabotaged the whole day with that flyer out in the white, your eyes couldn't focus on J Lo's butt, your trigger feels like mush and the guy next to you has this weird tic that occurs just before your every shot. You know, sort of like like the noise an annoyed Curley Joe of the Three Stooges would make, but without the comic antics. And by this point you just want to cross fire 5's on his target because, face it, your score's in the dumper because of him, and if anyone deserves it he does. But you don't because he's your best friend and you rode in his car to the match. Anyway, I digress.
Lipra suggests that we use a little known ploy first used to gain a competetive edge in Australian club matches. He managed to elicit the illicit story over a keg of Foster's with some tie-me-kangaroo-down bloke named Warren.
Seems that the hollow end of any common pellet can be packed with black powder and for special effect, magnesium and phosphorous shavings. Pellets so treated could be liberally sprinkled into the tins of your fellow competitors during the goofing off period which immediately precedes the preparation period. Apparently the heat generated by the action of the compressed air slamming into the powder charge is sufficient to ignite the mixture. Judicious experimentation will develop just the right formula to ensure that no additional noise is created when the charge lights off. Imagine the laughs you will have as the pellet does flaming loop-de-loops before scorching its way thru that beautiful Edelmann paper and exploding against the backstop. The average shooter will not become overly alarmed when this happens the first time because they know that if anything can go wrong during a match it will. But when it happens repeatedly all up and down the line it should ensure that your 512 is finally good enough to win!
And in the immortal words of someone whose name I've forgotten, "winning isn't everything, it's the ornery thing".
Should one of these rounds ignite three years accumulation of unswept powder residue and the whole place skyrockets like gas prices at vacation time don't blame me, blame Loof Lirpa.
Ted Bell
Posts: 104
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:28 pm
Location: Alabaster, Alabama

Post by Ted Bell »

Ha! What's even funnier is that when I saw "Loof Lirpa" on the topic list page I was fully expecting another obscene post from our frequent spammers!
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pilkguns
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Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2004 7:22 pm
Location: Monteagle, TN

Post by pilkguns »

now thats funny, I don't care who you are
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